Wednesday, June 9, 2010


I really feel emty not knowing how sean would have looked if he were here today. I would imagone he would have curly black hair and be a stunner ! He would have sat his leaving certificate today, he would have been deciding his future, his career his path that his was going to take for the rest of his life , whether he was going to have a long career with no kids or if he was going to have a stable job and a family. I can't but think if he was here and I was gone, what would his life be like, I bet he would do something more productive with his life than watch Home&Away and Neighbours like I do. I would like to think that sean and I would have gotten along very well from what I remember of us being kids we spent our childhood together before his life was taken from him. I always rekoned that Sean would be the smart one out of all of his family, Conor and Ciaran used to have accicents when the slpet but never Sean he never had accidents, i know its a very stupid way to judge how Sean would have turned out considering the way his mother raised his other brothers and the way Conor got involved in everything that could be possibly illegial. I dislike conor in many ways because the only thing he has done valuble with his life since Sean died is apply to work in the Brittish Army. Through his childhood he caused an obseen amount of trouble for his mam and its just not fair, he acted self centered and he never cared about what kind of trouble he would get him self into. I guess if you have no respect for yourself how can you have respect for others. I'm not sure but i doubt that he ever got concilling after Sean's death, he should have because it would have effected him a lot I was only 5 when it happened and look at me now im writing about him it effected me hugely ! I remember seeing him in his coffin, he was wearing a liverpool football kit the scarf and all, he looked like he was asleep, just like he would have looked at home in his bed. It hurts so much, i miss him i can feel it in my heart , I can feel it at the pit of my stomach i can feel it everywhere.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

28th of April

Today ...

Besides the fact that today was going to be useless like every other school day this week it wasn't as bad as yesterday. I can't seem to do anyhting right ever. I expect it off that bitch in school but I don't expect it off my Family Betty had an agrument with Amy early yesterday morning and she was in a shitty mood and took it out on me. Not the usual way she takes it out on me just a fraction of that but it didn't mean it didn't hurt. I did Not speak one word to her today in school, i ignored the lot of them and stayed with lauren and Rosie and them .... I'm nearly getting the balance right with my "friends". Not the others the oldies from last year. My and holy had a kinda heart to heart today and Leah went to hug me and I awkwardly walked away thinking why would she want to hug me ? Feel like an idiot. Feeling dizzy again it sucks and I have a mountain of Irish homework and A french opinion so i best get off the computer !

Chat soon I hope .....

Tuesday, February 16, 2010

Future Housewive

I felt like a real housewive today it was weird. I always tell myself that I don’t want kids and I don’t want to get married but sometimes I wonder. Today and like a lot of others day I get a look into how my life would be if I had a family life. The morning started by a greeting of my lil sister Chloe she jumped on me ! lol Michael my cousin who I am very close to picked Chloe up an brought her to school. My mam dropped Mary off to school on her way into town she was going to meet my stepdad there and then go to visit their sick friend in hospital they were gone the whold day… anyways I started to clean the house and as I was done I took a shower and then Michael arrived home with Mary from School. I made Michael coffee and pancakes (it was pancake Tuesday) and mary of course lol. Then Michael went to pick chloe up while he was gone I cleaned up after the pancakes and decided I would watch tv but by the time I got to sit down Michael was back with Chloe and more pancakes were demaded. Again I had to clean up after the pancakes and then came dinner. It seemed my whole day was wrapped around feeding the kids ! Weird How your life can change for the day haha. Then after dinner it was movie time I had promised I would watch Hannah montana the movie with them,then it was get them to bed time and for me more cleaning up after them. Can people see why I don’t want to have kids I don’t want my highlight of my whole day to be watching Hannah Montana. I suppose its nice to spend time with my lil sisters and moments when we laugh together when I mind them etc are precious and I should be gratefull and I am I just don’t think I could to that everyday for 18 years and more per child that I have ! Its not a great life to look forward to but I will derfinatly consider having one child I have the fear that I will keep going though. But if Im happy it will be great ! J

Breaking Dawn

The last twilight Saga book is called Breaking Dawn. If you don’t know what the Twilight Saga is leave my blog now !! Lol ( do u live under a rock ? ). Breaking Dawn is currently being made into a film they havnt started filming yet but they are getting the scripts ready etc. I wish they would make the book into two films. One cause that’s another film and two cause the book is so long and there is so much detail and scenes that the directors have to put in if they make one film all the scenes wont make it to the film. The whole point of the films ( besides the money aspect ) is to satisfly the fans with a visual aspect to the books. I think Chris Weitz and the fellow crew members of the Twilight Saga should ask the fans how they feel about the whole thing because we are the ones paying them technically. We paid for Twilight, New Moon and soon will pay for Eclipse why should we pay when really we are not happy ? Breaking Dawn was such an amazing book. I loved the way it was going through “normal life for vampires …. Etc.

The Perfect Man

Edward Cullen seems to be the definition of the perfect man In many teens eyes today across the globe, well not only teens we have all seen the twi moms !! J Many average/ great guys are all wondering why Edward Cullen is the Perfect Man …. Well I can tell you why !! He truly loves Bella more than anything in the whole world and he will do anything for her. He knows how to treat her and he knows who she is and loves her for everything she is. I think a lot of people forget about the fact that Edward is a vampire and when they do remember think … ah well ! He is truly a great person. Is this what people have to resort to today ?? if you want a guy that will be the perfect man, you have to find a vampire cause no one else will do it right ?? It seems a bit far fetched but Edward didn’t have to be a vampire, twilight would be still twilight with out the vampires I recon people would still read the books if it was a simple love story because it’s hope that someday you will find your own Edward cullen, someone who will love you as much as Edward loves bell and vice versa. Gosh im blabbering again ! But then again if Edward Cullen the sexy, loving, down to earth vampire called to my door wanting to love me for eternity I wouldn’t turn the offer down.

How tv influences relationships and various other things

In desperate housewives Julie Meyers has an affair with an older man. Isn’t it funny how people feel that some people are too old for other people? I recently had a relationship with a 19 year old and im 16; it was seen as he was way too old for me but age gaps that are much bigger in other places. In the show desperate housewives Julie is 23 she is seeing a married man, having an affair, people might say that television shouldn’t cloud our views but in fact the telly does as much as people might think that TV doesn’t cloud our views it does. Programs like desperate housewives as much as I love them, the influence in the wrong way, for example bre is having an affair with Carl and the program makes the affair look ok because Orson refuses to divorce bre where in my eyes he is trying to make his marriage work is that so wrong? Everybody makes mistakes and bre shouldn’t break a wedding vow and have an affair with Carl and make it look acceptable to all who view the show because even though we don’t want to think it television influences our views and our decisions. As a sixteen year old girl living in Ireland I feel that television influences us greatly, when I was a size 8/10 I felt I was fat, now I am over weight and I look back and wish I was back to the size I was before. I knew deep down that I wasn’t overly huge and my family told me I was skinny so I ate what I wanted, I didn’t think I would get any bigger im now a size 14 I went up like 3 well 2 and a bit sizes depending on where I buy my clothes !! But I’m more comfortable with my weight now than I ever was. Which I feel is another issue that I have to face in Ireland, being over weight is common and accepted but that’s an issue for another day ! lol

Thursday, February 11, 2010

How I feel right at this very moment.

  1. having, expressing, or showing low spirits or sorrow; unhappy; mournful; sorrowful
  2. causing or characterized by dejection, melancholy, or sorrow
  3. dark or dull in color; drab
  4. Informal very bad; deplorable
  5. Dialectal heavy or soggy a sad cake