Missing!

I really feel emty not knowing how sean would have looked if he were here today. I would imagone he would have curly black hair and be a stunner ! He would have sat his leaving certificate today, he would have been deciding his future, his career his path that his was going to take for the rest of his life , whether he was going to have a long career with no kids or if he was going to have a stable job and a family. I can't but think if he was here and I was gone, what would his life be like, I bet he would do something more productive with his life than watch Home&Away and Neighbours like I do. I would like to think that sean and I would have gotten along very well from what I remember of us being kids we spent our childhood together before his life was taken from him. I always rekoned that Sean would be the smart one out of all of his family, Conor and Ciaran used to have accicents when the slpet but never Sean he never had accidents, i know its a very stupid way to judge how Sean would have turned out considering the way his mother raised his other brothers and the way Conor got involved in everything that could be possibly illegial. I dislike conor in many ways because the only thing he has done valuble with his life since Sean died is apply to work in the Brittish Army. Through his childhood he caused an obseen amount of trouble for his mam and its just not fair, he acted self centered and he never cared about what kind of trouble he would get him self into. I guess if you have no respect for yourself how can you have respect for others. I'm not sure but i doubt that he ever got concilling after Sean's death, he should have because it would have effected him a lot I was only 5 when it happened and look at me now im writing about him it effected me hugely ! I remember seeing him in his coffin, he was wearing a liverpool football kit the scarf and all, he looked like he was asleep, just like he would have looked at home in his bed. It hurts so much, i miss him i can feel it in my heart , I can feel it at the pit of my stomach i can feel it everywhere.